brendan watch: special edition

OHGOD. Watching Hollyoaks last week made us realise that we LITERALLY LOVE EVERY SCENE THAT BRENDAN IS IN. No jokes – we could watch him for hours, like a Turner-like landscape or Jaws 4.

Anyway, in fairness to other Hollyoaks characters and those crazy fools who are not as obsessed with Brendan as we are, we thought we would start pouring all of our Brendan devotion into self-contained, Brendan-centric posts. Undiluted Brendan, if you will.

So without further ado, here’s our round up of last week’s Brendanisms:

I am Jack’s total fecking horror. He reacts none too kindly to Cheryl inviting Macca to stay. Note the majestic switch from leer to grimace:

Speaking of Cheryl, she gave us the opportunity to see the softer side of Brendan as he comforted her in the hospital and refrained from violent moustachioed rage when she later asked him whether he was gay. See, just because he occasionally hospitalises her doesn’t mean he isn’t a good brother.

Imagine: you wake up to find Brendan sleep watching you. Do you shriek? Swoon? Or just roll over like Macca?:

Sadface Brendan as he is ditched by Ste in favour of rebranded chav Rae (STE – ARE YOU MAD?? etc):

Excellent close talking:

The hair horn is back (just behind his ear). Perhaps it only appears when he is threatening someone?:

Why Brendan, what big hands you have. All the better to point at you with, my dear:

There was yet another amazing Brendan/Amy scene, this time as he menaced her in hospital, soundtracked by some bizarre jaunty-yet-mournful Oirish music. It was notable for two things:

1. You know what we’ve always wanted to know? How Brendan would approach basic hospital administrative tasks. So it is a good thing then that he demonstrated his skill for EVIL FOLDER READING. Like a sinister Doctor Kildare, he read Amy‘s medical notes, “Oi was worried moiself,” he says, of her condition, “A leetle bit.”:

2. This bit: “Anyhoo, oi’ll see ya around. Or not.” *laughs loudly. The laughter abruptly stops. He grimaces at Amy* “It’s just… okay…okay…” *after another point, he nods then exits scene*:

Despite a punctured lung and three cracked ribs Macca still wants Brendan back. Brendan’s look of WTF? muchly mirrored our own:

We’d love to know how much time screentime Brendan spends drinking hot beverages:

GRAAAA! Vintage Brendan as he manhandles Ste:

This Brendan quote:

“Those little babies…Oi feel seek, physically seek thinkin about what coulda happened te them” he reacts with, not entirely convincing, horror at the danger that befell Leah and Lucas.

“OI AINT QUEER” Thoroughly angered by Macca (and who wouldn’t be), Brendan unleashes the ultimate weapon in his arsenal: the forehead thrust. There is no coming back from this:

And finally, our fave Brendan bit of the week. There are certain things you expect in a scene where a villainous type is doing a spot of menacing: sinister music, perhaps, or ominous lighting. Maybe a bit of close talking and/or nose grabbing. Occasionally even a balloon.

What you do not expect, however, is toast.

But, proving yet again that he is able to make the most innocent of items seem threatening, Brendan incorporated this breakfast favourite into his morning menacing of Macca:

A nutritious, healthy start to the day AND a potent weapon for intimidation and sexual mind games?  We’ll never eat toast in the same way again.

And we’re spent.

Last week’s non-Brendan related news will be posted soon.

Tags: bendanisms, bre, brendan, close talking, face, forehead, jaws 4, macca, menacing, sleepwatching, toast